Payback UPDATED
by Alessa1982
Summary: Sirius seems to have betrayed his friends and caused the death of the Potters. How will Remus deal with that? Who else left Sirius selfishness behind. Is there a payback to his betrayal?


**Payback**

Remus/ OC ( Sirius's girlfriend)

Rating: NC 17

Well I updated this one but I think I still really need a good beta. So if anybody could help me out it would be nice 

Remus didn't know if it made any sense to come back to the apartment he shared with Sirius since they left Hogwarts after their final year.

Well he had plenty of reasons not to do it, for example to avoid the memory of the cowardly traitor he once loved like a brother. He came in wet to the bones and shivering after he wandered the streets for hours in a pretty nasty thunderstorm. He never wanted to come back again to this place, but still he did. Maybe to find the answers he needed so badly. But on the other hand, where should he go to then? There was no place for a creature like himself. The only family he ever knew after his parents died, was gone. His wet clothing clung hard to his skinny body and shrieked nasty under every move he made.

One week had gone by since he learned about his best friend's betrayal on his own friends. One week since James and Lily found their fate in death, along with Peter. So much for the family he once built around him. Now just a bunch of corpses except of one.

Sirius was already locked up behind the cold stonewalls of Azkaban for his betrayal. A fact that really had no effect at all on Remus.

He couldn't bring himself to think badly of the traitor. Somehow he just couldn't bring himself to hate him, no matter how deeply the realisation of the many deaths sunk into his mind.

To him it didn't matter anyway. Losing friends because of death or because they chose the wrong side in this war, caused the same pain. There was no difference, it hurt all the same and in the end he would be , either way, still alone. Left behind.

No matter how relieved the rest of the magical world was that the bad guy was in jail, Remus was not, he could not be.

Feeling itself came hard to him these days.

He didn't know if it was joy or grief he felt for his old friend, when he thought about the Dementors kiss that awaited him behind this haunting prison walls. Maybe he felt both.

After all, it wasn't so easy to give up his feelings for his friend.

Remus felt the urge to be loyal to Sirius even though he knew the man was a traitor.

He reckoned he was just used to stand by his friends, no matter what they did. There was always some kind of chaos in the gang for that matter, especially caused by Sirius.

Why should this be any different?

Friendship doesn't go away from one second to another, does it ?

Remus threw his keys on the floor beside the front door and pealed out of his long grey coat like a snake out of its skin. Night had fallen several hours ago and the shadows drew strange forms in the corners of the apartment, almost like spiders crawling in the dark. He stepped further in the room, just to feel the cold breeze coming from a barely open window in the living room.

The urge to scream flooded his mind and he drew in a shaky breath.

He couldn't stand the silence.

His roommate's presence and laughter were echoing in his ears although he knew they had died along with his betrayal.

But they were happy here, weren't they? Living here like chosen brothers, making their lives a little less lonely. Two outsiders. Hunt down by their families and society. One for the beast he was every full moon and the other because of the family he belonged to since birth. Remus thought they had been even, but he wasn't so sure anymore.

There was a sudden dark coldness outside and inside of him, by just thinking about the possibility that he must have seen all this coming.

He once again thought of the Dementors and he had to laugh at himself for thinking, that maybe a merciful death would the best for his old mate.

"Still the merciful creature, you fool!", he whispered and stopped his motions in the middle of the living room to draw in the darkness that surrounded him, while the steady silence was screaming in his ears.

Why couldn't he feel the way he used to?

James, Lily, Peter. Sirius.

He couldn't even cry.

Maybe he was just dreaming. Oh Merlin knew, he craved to wake up.

He stood still for several moments until there was a sudden shift in the air.

The darkness moved and he felt two slender arms embrace him fiercely from the behind.

He groaned out of fear and surprise like a wounded animal. "A familiar sound to my ears", he thought.

For a second he hoped it would be Sirius, waking him from his bad dream, or James shaking him awake out of this nightmare, but that was just silly in just thinking.

There would be no one to wake him up this time, because it was just real.

With a small shrug he tried to turn around in the dark and bring his face to the intruder on his backside but the second he attempted to move the two arms around his waist and chest just clung to him even stronger.

Remus felt a women's face pressed in the crook of his neck, snuggling him there. She breathed roughly, like out of fear or desperation and shook so violently that her tremors went also though his own body.

In one split second Remus remembered that he wasn't the only one Sirius had left behind these endless days ago.

"What are you doing here?", he asked and touched the bony hand that lingered on his chest.

There was no answer but a soft sigh, and then the woman was pressing herself even tighter against him.

„ Eva?" She started shaking more violently, at her name.

"Dashing Sirius", Remus thought by himself , never leaving her shivering hand, "never thought about the line of girls he would leave behind whimpering and begging for his damn fucking beautiful cockface to show up on their doorstep again."

Remus stretched one long arm behind his back and slightly touched the women's head, which still rested on his shoulders. Her curly hair hid her face well, but he still felt the dampness of tears on her fleshy cheeks.

„Eva, let go of me", he said, trying to sound casual and kind, like Sirius would have sounded in his bed voice, the wager. He tried to peal her hands away from his waist, just to find her fingers flexing over his tight stomach.

There was no way she could have grab him even stronger, he thought but was deeply mistaken. A force was rushing through her fragile body, that hold him in place and made his chest hurt.

She let out a heavy breath and brought her mouth to his ear.

For a moment he was ashamed of the effect of her movement on his neck, a shiver causing though him, that went right to his lower places.

Why had he felt guilty about letting his friends girlfriend touch him like this? Was their any guilt capable for enjoying this?

"Just let me do this", she whispered, her lips just inches away from his ear, as another shiver ran though Remus´s body. "I need this".

She was cuddling her face up his neck tracing a line of fire with her nose taking his scent in. A mixture of the heavy rain outside and something herb that was just him or the beast within him.

Simultaneously her hands began to move up his waist to find contact with his scared skin under his sweater.

"Remus, don't fight me".

He more felt her hands drawing his shirt up and over his head, so his upper body was bare to her, free to her ministrations he suddenly longed for. This was the moment he embraced the darkness, glad she wouldn't be able to see the huge number of scars he wore on his skin.

"Remus".

For a brief moment he wondered, why she kept on muttering his name anyway. He was sure she saw broader shoulders, longer and darker hair and fairer features in her head instead of his creepy form. A flash of Sirius's face shot through his mind, his face plastered with the most genuine smile he ever saw and suddenly he understood. She did it to punish the man she really wanted to be with. This was her payback.

At that Remus started to wiggle out of her firm grip. A voice was screaming inside of his head. This was wrong. It was wrong what he let her do this to him, even through he knew he shouldn't give a care. Why should he hold himself back? Except of the fact that he wasn't Sirius. She kissed him hastily on the neck and tangled her hand in his hair from behind, causing his head to fall forward as his honeyed strands covered his eyes.

When did he close them?

"Eva don't."

His breath was caught in his throat and he stumbled a few steps across the room in attempt to escape her teasing lips and tongue that licked their way up his spine.

But she followed him desperately, clawing at every inch of his flesh she could reach. And then her hands were on his belt, loosening it and she started to unzip him.

Oh how he wished Sirius could see this. For an exquisite moment he imagined his friend storming though the front door and catch them both of guard in this position.

Remus actually smiled at that.

With sure hands Eva pulled down his jeans and boxers just far enough to free his straining erection, a moan escaping his parted lips, as she pushed him with his front against the wall and started to roam her palm across his behind. He braced himself on the rough material for support, just to knocked off by her touch to stand straight anymore.

"Let go of me", he said again, but this time in desire to return the touching on her. But Eva didn't let go. Not that he really expected her to. This was after all, still her game.

Instead she was licking his neck again while her right hand snaked around his body and found his cock. She took him in a firm grip, using her thump to coat the tip with his precome.

There was a sudden jerk of his hips and a mindless roar escaped his throat, every muscle in his body suddenly tensed and was screaming for her to urge on.

And she did, teasing him with slow strokes, which drove him mad and left him wiggling against the wall.

Remiss fingers twitched to make contact to her softness but he knew she wouldn't allow him to touch her.

"You don't want to see my face huh….. ahh…", a sudden squeeze on the tip of his cock was the punishment for him to speak, and he panted heavily. " That's why you're lingering back there. Pretend I'm someone else?" he breathed, shuddering from the force of her touch.

She snarled and scratched her teeth upon his collar. He felt her other hand on his chest also creeping downwards softly closing around his sack, bringing his hips to jerk violently, and leaving his lungs off air.

"No", she whispered softly, "I know exactly that your not him."

Then she pressed her face in the hollow of his back kneeling behind him and drawing wet kisses around to his hip.

Remus growled under his hasty breath like the animal he secretly was. She didn't stop his ministration, even if he wanted to, even if he wanted to make her, there was no way he could get rid of her by now. She wasn't done with him.

He looked down on himself, a sudden desire to open his eyes and saw her face for the first time since she grabbed him. Eva bit down on his right hipbone while her hand quickened up the pace on his cock. This was his punishment for looking at her.

He felt her moving up again, still on his backside, never breaking her rhythm on him. He felt the force of his orgasm building in his belly and his knees shook violently under ever stroke she did on him.

"You are close", she whispered, tightening her fingers painfully around his shaft, causing him to jump and jerk his hips in wild abandon.

"Come."

„No", he breathed hoarsely, once more trying to turn over, dwelling up the sensation she coursed him. She just gripped him even tighter, preventing him from turning by pushing his hips with her own, trapping him against the wall, make him dive his cock in her hand more forcefully, setting the rhythm he refused to follow.

"Come for me".

Remus groaned again, air leaving his lungs, the wild panting leaving his mouth dry and desperate. And then everything was a haze.

Eva pushed him more forward with her hips, her hand around his cock circled, tracing the length of him with her nails, stretching him more brutal, coating him with his own sweet juices. Once again she brought her mouth to his ear, supporting herself on his tensing shoulder.

"Remus", she whispered and he let his head fall backwards on her shoulder, scraping her cheek with his stubble. He was just at the brink. His hips moved uncontrolled into her hand, the sweet scent of her hair in his nose. He bucked, and hollowed his back for more contact.

"Let go".

And so he did. His balls tightened the moment he said the words and he came so forcefully that his knees gave out under him. With his echoing cries surrounding them, they crashed to the ground.

But Eva didn't stop touching him and stretched his sensitive skin with her fingers until he was begging her to let go of him. He collapsed whimpering and shaking on the floor, like a scared child, or a clumsy virgin. She rubbed her flat hand up and down his length to sooth him, licking his spine again, and drawing his orgasm out.. He dried out on top of his voice, getting near to another straining hard on. Remus felt Eva's hot kissed on his skin, and before he knew it, tears were falling from his eyes.

For the first time he felt pity for the man who betrayed them and coursed so much death and pain. Again Sirius's face settled in his mind, and guilt washed over him like the tide of his pleasure. His mind twisted around a frightening realisation in his guts and then he cried openly.

He cried for James, he cried for Lily, he cried for Peter and for Sirius.

After all, he finally realized how easy it was to become a traitor.


End file.
